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FAQ

Helpful Information

 

How does the booking process work?

You are able to book private lessons with me via the Bookings tab on this site. You will then be able to book a time slot to meet with me at our rope space in Salt River (or in Boksburg/Lonehill in Gauteng).

If you need an invoice, or would like to pay in cash or via EFT, you are welcome to pop me an email at desirelines.rope@gmail.com.

Where Can I buy rope in South Africa?

I highly recommend Sudo Jute - they sell high quality locally produced and imported jute treated specifically for bondage. Use the promo code DESIREL to get a discount at their store

You can buy some sash cord or hemp rope from local hardware stores or sailing suppliers to start out with, but if you would like to start taking the practice more seriously I recommend investing in rope that is fit for purpose. 

How does it feel to be tied?

The sensations of being in bondage vary wildly from person to person (which is part of the beauty of this art form). It depends on how the rope is laid on your body, the intention behind it, what both parties bring to the space physically, mentally and emotionally, your level of sensitivity to discomfort... there are so many factors that feed into your response. Sexual energy, power exchange and pain are optional. The laying of rope has its own sensation depending on the intention of the rigger - it can be soft, tickly, caressing, rough, harsh or even painful. Being in rope, depending on the tie, can range from experiencing a light pressure, to experiencing a fair amount of discomfort, especially if your body is forced into uncomfortable shapes. Being suspended again is an entire universe on its own, depending on how you have been tied. It can range from feeling like you are floating on a cloud to feeling like you to are about to die (fight/flight/freeze response). Emotionally, there is also a wide range of responses - all are valid. Being untied is invariably always a release, but there is room to play with the timing and intention around this release. Curious? Contact me to inquire about a session. 

Is rope always sexual? Can I do rope if it doesn't turn me on?

It is important to recognise and appreciate the erotic roots of bondage, and honour and respect that it is an erotic practice. That said, it does have benefits and practitioners outside of the sexual paradigm. For some, it is about pushing their bodies not unlike engaging in strenuous exercise or extreme sports. For some it is a way to reclaim their agency after trauma. For some it is a way to experience connection with others without the scripts and expectations associated with genital contact. As long as what you are doing is consensual and intentional, I consider it healthy and valid.

I have never been tied before. Am I able to give informed consent to an experience?

When you consent to a rope bondage experience as a newbie or as an experienced bottom, you are consenting to being taken on a journey. Neither you nor I know how the experience will turn out for you. You are not consenting to a specific list of activities, but rather to a process of discovery. As am I as the person tying. You are consenting to a process where the risks are outlined for you. You can expect that space will be held for whatever emotions and sensations are generated for you. Each session is unique and will involve communication of desires, management of expectations and mitigation of risks both physical and emotional. We will discuss what our responsibilities are towards one another. We will discuss our physical abilities. We will not make assumptions, rather we will discuss all that we can think of beforehand. We will enter into the space together with the knowledge that there are variables that we cannot account for, but that as and when issues arise, we will meet them with empathy, communication and calm. This is what you are consenting to as a newbie being tied by me.

I am not white/thin/cisgender/able-bodied/rich/neurotypical - can I trust that you will hold space for me to learn or be tied?

I try my best to recognise my blind spots and trust my ability to hold space for human beings of all experiences. However, I do not presume to be able to do that for everyone. I have learnt with time and experience that I cannot provide everyone with a space that feels safe to them, and will not promise to do so here.  I also prefer a slow burn when it comes to teaching and tying - we will both ease into a space of baseline comfort with one another before you entrust your physical and emotional safety to me.

What should I wear to a tying session?

Like everything related to bondage, there are no right or wrong answers here. Personally, it is easier for me to tie on bare skin (rope just grips bare skin better). Clothing is a very charged and intimate expression culturally speaking, and it can be fun to play with different ideas related to clothing (my favourite being themes of exposure). If you want to remove the clothing variable but still want to be somewhat clothed, you are welcome to wear underwear or form-fitting clothing. As a general rule, I prefer that people don't wear any jewelry, as this can get in the way and/or cause circulation-related discomfort. I also love long hair and including it in play, so if you are not okay with having your hair included in the journey it might be a good idea to tie it up, as it could become an unintended casualty of the shenanigans.